Hide has a lot of patience, and is devoted to someone who doesn’t necessarily deserve his appreciation. I understand that Kaneki refused communication with Hide, for the sake of keeping Hide safe from him, but Kaneki went about it in a terrible way.
I like how the manga points out that Kaneki’s mother is a “selfish” woman, and that he, Kaneki, is very selfish, and very much like her. The idea that, “If I keep him away, he’ll be safe,” At first glance, is an actual noble idea.
But Kaneki never considered Hide’s feelings with this attitude. He considered Hide’s safety, but not his feelings. His pretending Hide didn’t exist meant that Hide could be safe, from him. And that’s selfish.
Selfishness isn’t always a bad thing, though, despite it’s negative connotation.
But what is negative, is that he hardly considered how Hide was feeling.
Which Is why I’m glad that Ishida not only highlighted Kaneki’s selfishness, but also the fact that Hide was lonely (in the anime, at least), and that Kaneki’s negligence to be a good friend is apart of Hide’s loneliness.
I would really love a scene in which Hide yells at Kaenki. Kaneki’s “protecting” Hide didn’t protect him at all.( Let’s be real, how is Hide bleeding to death protecting him? If Kaneki was really protecting him, he would’ve made sure Hide wasn’t involved with the CCG. What about the sewer? Same as the first sentence.) What strikes me, honestly, is that Kaneki knows Hide’s personality, knows Hide and his tendency to investigate things that seem amiss. Kaneki’s disappearance is a miss.
I wonder if he expected Hide to forget about him, like he forgot about Hide?
(Going back to Kaneki’s relationship with his mother, and how he doesn’t want to be alone, and the selfishness that’s derived from that, I wonder if Kaneki was actually betting on Hide finding him. Perhaps I see it as an ego thing, Kaneki expects Hide to look for him. )
All-in-all, Kaneki owes Hide a huge ass apology. And the sad part is, whether he apologizes or not, Hide will still love him unconditionally. Oh well, we all have those friends we don’t deserve.
p.s:
Though part of me wonders if Kaneki just wanted to show Hide that he
could do something on his own. Hide is always standing up for Kaneki.
Judging by the fact that Kaneki knows that Hide may have been looking
for him, I wonder if he did so in such a way that he can show Hide,
“See, you don’t always have to help me.” In the anime, Kaneki
doesn’t even seem surprised when Hide mentions his “Eye-patch”
get up, and that he’s been seeing him on the news. Just an
observation.
allsoundsasscreed